How do you know when to ACT and when to leave something ALONE? Have you ever really taken the time to evaluate your process or are you just conditioned to trust your automatic gut instinct? We each make decisions to “get involved” and/or “not” constantly throughout our days; but, today I would like you to delve deeper and discover in yourself: what triggers you to get involved verses why you dismiss choosing to act.
“To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer. The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles, And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep.” William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet Act III, Scene I. (3, 1, 56-60)
William Shakespeare’s Prince Hamlet asked himself that very same question in a much more eloquent fashion. He struggled with the decision of committing action verses the nature of nothingness. In layman’s terms, when should we act verses when should we not.
If the sink is leaking, who should find the water and turn it off? If you were to get a flat tire, are you supposed to phone someone to ask how to change it- or better yet- ask someone to come do it for you? When do you pay someone to do something? Is it because you don’t want to do something or is it because you can’t? It’s not a matter if the task is an easy one or challenging- the question is: When are YOU supposed to do it?
Humans are amazingly intelligent creatures and we instantly make decisions every day about action. Sometimes we act and put effort in and sometimes we don’t. There are a lot of factors that go into the equation- questions such as:
- “How easy/hard is this going to be?”
- “How important is this?”
- “How long is this going to take?”
- “How much does this person/project mean to me?”
- “How good am I going to look if I do this?”
- “Am I am going to get in trouble if I don’t?”
- “If I don’t- I know I am going to get in trouble, how long will the punishment last?”
- “Am I going to get paid for this?”
- “If I don’t do this-can I persuade that person to not be mad?”
This list can go on and on and on…
Now- These questions and others are what help us formulate a decision to decide if we should do something or not.
We make these choices every day and then experience and life instills in us patterns that mold us into who we are. Depending on our relationships, friendships, and job choices you are conditioned by each to either act or not act. We are either punished and/or rewarded b
y our actions and/or inactions. Because of outside influencers who either punish us or reward us we change and alter our initial decisions.
I want you to think about the nature of balance. Being balanced is finding your center and being able to decide whether action or non action is the balanced and RIGHT DECISION! The important part of making a balanced decision is also about surrounding ourselves with circumstance and people who allow us to make decisions that benefit the whole instead of the “ME.”
Let me give you an example: Image that you get into a heated disagreement with your significant other. YOU decide that YOU don’t want to fight and YOU walk out the door because YOU know nothing good is going to come from fighting and YOU just don’t care to waste YOUR energy. Your significant other on the other hand is ragingly upset and wants to solve the problem. How do you handle the situation? Is this a balanced relationship where you both get an equal say? Do you play paper/rock/scissors to decide how to deal with it? Do you demand to handle it YOUR way or do you give in because of how upset THEY are?
How do you truly know what you are supposed to do? What’s the RIGHT decision? Are you only listening to your own judgement and making decisions for the both of you based on what YOU think or are you empathizing with your partner and trying to make a balanced decision?
If you have any feelings for the other person, it’s not easy to decide. In a perfect scenario, the idea is to find a balanced approach to handling the situation. To every situation. Balance means that both sides win- yet both sides lose. Equality.
Now, the trick is finding healthy jobs, relationships, and opportunities that allow this kind of balance into our lives. And once we find that, we need to figure out what that balance actually looks like.
It’s all a matter of action or non-action. Sometimes acting–sometimes not. Learning who deserves our action and when we should pull away. Figuring out in our heart-of-hearts how much effort to put into something to determine an equal return on our investment.
Every act we commit is a business transaction. Some situations we make a profit, some situations we lose out…. Some situations can be acts of thievery… Some situations are pure give aways… Take notice in how you behave and find a way to balance your spiritual checkbook.
Here is an example of someone who is unbalanced.
Have you ever met someone who can’t make a decision alone? They constantly need someone else to guide them. Never capable of making a choice. Never able to finish a project.
Ever met her/him before? Yep! we all have.
Paralyzation by indecision. It happens all the time. Something needs to be done, but, the outcome and or the process is difficult. One defense mechanism they might resort to is to not act- so they don’t have to deal with the ramifications of making a decision. They don’t have to figure anything out- so they don’t get in trouble. And 9 times out of 10- by not acting- they are forcing someone else to be accountable. Avoidance. Notice the problem here. They are unbalanced.
On the other hand, there is something remarkable about individuals who CAN figure things out and also have the ability to know when to control themselves from giving it all away.
Let’s take building this website for instance. I will admit full heartedly, that I am most certainly not the most talented website designer. As a matter of fact, this is the very first one I have ever attempted. There were a few things to consider… A few things to work out… But, I did it. By all means, there are so many people out there who are masters of the trade and can blow a hole in my attempt. But, truth be told. It’s a website. And I did it! YAY! It serves its purposes and it gets the job done. Could be be better? HEck Yeah! And it will get there! Because I want it to make it better.
But, if I waited for it to be “Perfect” or even just “FINISHED” — or better yet, wished someone else would take care of it- I’d be sitting here until the cows come home… and guess what? I’d would have never gotten this blog moving. I am actively making the decision to act and build the website/blog… But, I also realize my limitations and I am making a plan to act accordingly so that I don’t burn myself out getting frustrated because I may need help or guidance with something I am not sure about. I acknowledge to myself that it’s ok to not always have the answers. It’s ok that I am not perfect. I am a work in progress and I love it!
If you look around, there is always “something” in life that needs to be balanced and figured out!
In performing “an action”, there is the weight of the decision to determine if it is worth our energy to act or actively take NO action. But, there is a difference between CHOOSING to decline figuring something out and actually just being too lazy or too incapable to act.
Life has so many of these small & large opportunities for us to practice. Think about the kind of people you find yourself admiring and wanting to work with. Do you prefer to work with individuals who take a-hold of a task and follow through and get it accomplished or do you gravitate towards people who always fall apart? Remember that you attract the company that you want. Do you want to pull in people who take pride in being productive and even try to leave a tad bit of room to extend a helping hand to others in need? Well you need to BE PRODUCTIVE and even leave a tad bit of room to extend a helping hand to others in need YOURSELF! Be what you ASK FOR! Balance.
Think about the potential opportunities! You can draw in whoever and whatever YOU want. All you have to do is BECOME THE PERSON YOU WANT!
The possibilities are endless.
Life and all it’s glory comes with struggle and as the years go by more and more piles up on our plates. There is something beautiful about knowing our limits and only taking on the people and projects that are important and meaningful–but, there is also something so gorgeous about those who are dependable. You know who those people are. They are the ones you call during stressful and challenging situations. They are the exact opposite of the ones who can never figure anything out. These guys/gals just figure everything out. They are the ones who don’t necessarily know what the solution is; but, they will be darn sure to help you figure it out.
Now, let’s talk a little about our spirit here. Knowing when to step-in and assist and when we need to protect ourselves and not over-extend ourselves is a very important lesson to learn.
There is a difference between knowing when to get involved and help and then there is a level of giving away the farm. Ahhhh… Now we are getting to the heart of the matter of Climb With Integrity. Life is all about balance.
Balance is something that everyone one of us should consider and it is something that Climb With Integrity is designed to explore. Knowing when to act and when to decline can be a very challenging lesson to learn. Knowing what to do can get complicated when we involve people we love and/or projects we are passionate about. Involving our feelings is one of the fastest ways we lose our balance. We either over-extend ourselves or we don’t know how to give at all. It’s like a See-Saw- both sides completely off balance.
Take notice of how you process through the decision of action verses non action. Don’t just follow that instant gut feeling. Really think about all of the factors involved and make a balanced decision. There are times to force yourself to struggle through and be determined to find a solution for a problem. There are times to commit to work through to the end and not give up because you come across difficulty. But there are also times to take a deep breath and realize that you just might not get anything in return for yourself. There are times to give and times to refrain. Don’t be a snowball just rolling down a mountain blindly- doing the same thing over and over. Think.
Action is really important- but, for those of us who always want to ACT- there can be a level of “Too Much”. Catch yourself and think about what you are “DOING” as much as you try to catch yourself to think about what you “Say.”
Fear can be a big part of our unbalanced decisions. We can act out of fear and we also can be paralyzed because of fear. Falling prey to indecision is a hard habit to break once instilled but acting because we are insecure is just as dangerous. Build up your tenacity to stay on track, keep a balanced schedule, plan out even course, and navigate through the hiccups with grace and patience. Be a problem solver and relieve stress on loved ones and in the workplace because you manage your own issues as they come up and therefore you require less maintenance and oversight. Being trustworthy, dependable, balanced, and capable opens doors to move up in careers and helps establish healthy patterns in relationships. And think about the potential happiness that comes from being in control of your own satisfaction and success.
Getting organized and getting stuff done is also quite contagious. Doing it in a systematic and balance fashion is FANTASTIC!
We live in a world of instant information because of the immediate access to our phones and the internet. Instead of looking for an easy way out of something- give yourself a mental and emotional boost and use your problem solving skills. As you work your way through the day take notice of the small things that you can tackle that require a little bit of extra thought and practice making balanced decisions. Don’t give too much. Don’t take too much. Just try and find the middle ground.
Who knows? You never know who might just happen to be watching. Before you know it, you might have everyone around you doing the same.
Sounds awful huh?!
Love, Success, & Positive Energy
~Theresa
