The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude. ~William James
What, no way! Did you know that we can actually do something to increase our own ability to be happy? Whether you are stuck in a rut or just looking for a quick boost of positivity- look around, there are lots of ways to make the days a little bit brighter! Why don't we take a peek into the future to see what we should do now to make ourselves happy! Perhaps we can try and reverse design our lives a little bit!
A fantastic study was done by Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She took time to record their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai. Her studies were so inspiring and gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. After evaluating the data, she determined that the number one regret that people faced before dying was not being true to one’s own dreams:
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
So according to The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, one of the biggest challenges that we as a culture will face as we are laying on our deathbeds is not accomplishing our dreams. With this knowledge, let's take a page from Bronnie's book and consider a few things that can help us not face the same challenges that her dying patients had. Let's proactively pick up that wake up call before we are forced to.
Let's take a look at 7 ways to make yourself HAPPY!
1. Take Care Of Yourself 
Life has so many moving parts that if we expect someone else to figure out what makes us happy, the chances of them actually figuring out and following through are going to be slim. Don't put yourself and or the people you care about in a situation where you need to have your voids filled. If you like flowers, GO BUY THEM! If you want to be taken out for dinner, take yourself out to dinner. If you want someone to buy you something or do something for you, go buy it or go do it! Each of us have individual needs and talented mind-readers are few and far between. If you manage your responsibilities yourself and take care of difficulties yourself you won't be so frustrated someone else doesn't step in. Only take on projects and ventures you can handle. If you take on something too big, be aware that you are putting yourself in a position of potential failure. When and if someone wants to jump in and help you out you can say "YaY" and truly be appreciative. But, put your needs up on that scale of importance and tackle them yourself!
2. Stop The Gossip And Negative Talk
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." Eleanor Roosevelt
If you can't say something nice, perhaps it is time that you try being quiet. How about focusing on the positive instead of harping on the things you do not like? Negative energy breeds more negative energy and being around someone who is constantly grumpy and posting negative things on social media is just going to bring you more negative energy.
Cast that junk away! Scream out to the universe, "I cast that negative energy away!"
And if you are the culprit of the onslaught of nasty, change your behavior!
Stop being a prisoner of your emotions! Get control!
Go take a pretty picture of the sunset and even if you can only stop the negative for 2 mins, start there. The only one who can change your life is you. There is no-one on this planet that has the ability to change your behavior besides you. Take charge, keep your tongue in check, and do not allow yourself to spew negative energy out. Accidents can happen, just like spilling milk; but, you are not a careless and clumsy two year old. Control yourself and push out good energy into the universe!
3. Get Good At Something, Aim High, and Be Specific!
"As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death." Leonardo da Vinci
So, what exactly is your life's purpose? What are those dreams that you want to fulfill?
Each of our lives has meaning and you do have a reason to exist, even in those transitional moments when you might not see clearly why you are here! Take an inventory of your talents and focus on them. Figure out what you are good at, laser-focus on your talent, and get even better! Do not use the excuse that you are mediocre. No excuses, go figure yourself out. If you cannot figure yourself out, how in the world do you think anyone else can? You are the one living in your skin all day!
Use your gifts as a way to share positivity with the rest of the world! Becoming great at something increases your potential that you will actually want to keep doing it! Once you actually figure out how to do something well, go for it and aim high! Don't just settle for mediocrity. Figure out ways to push yourself and schedule incremental goals for success. Take your dreams to the next level and surround yourself with people and environments that will support you. Aim to be the best at what you can be! Do not gauge yourself according to anyone else's goals, ambitions, or levels. Decide your own fate.
For example, if you are on a health-kick, figure out what your goals are. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to fit into a certain size pair of pants? Do you want to give up sugar? Whatever it is, be specific and set yourself up with a plan to make it work. Don't just say: "I want to be healthier" because there is no real way to gauge your success. Give yourself an opportunity to actually meet your goal by actually making one. Getting good at something and achieving a goal leads to being proud and guess what self-pride leads to?
Yep, you guessed it. Happiness!
4. Follow The Happy!
Happiness is all around us so why recreate the wheel? The difficulty might be seeing it and letting it in. If you aren't feeling as bright eyed and bushy tailed as that person next to you, don't attempt to fight their energy. Let their sunshine be your sunshine. Let their mood help elevate yours. Don't stand in the quicksand of angry and frustrated and then be upset because you aren't 
happy. Shake off the mad attitude and let the positive energy in. Take notice and replicate the good that is already happening, even if it is only for a moment.
Stepping out of our emotional rut and acknowledging that things might not be as bad as they seem can have a very uplifting effect. A lot of us might begin to think that we are on our own islands and that nobody is like us. We might sink into our frustration and say, "nobody is happy and nothing is ok."
Life can be difficult. We all deal with loss, hurt, death, disappointment, and sadness. Processing through your pain and your hurt is one part of living a human life. Don't let it consume you. There are so many other parts of being human and so many of them are beautiful. Life is what you make of it.
I hate to burst your bubble, but, there is happiness around you and you are not alone on your own misery island. Depression and sadness are most certainly very powerful and very real and need to to handled delicately. But, ask yourself, "Am I being grumpy just to be grumpy?" If you want to be upset and you are managing the emotions in an healthy fashion than great! Take your time and process; but, if you want to be happy and you are just being stubborn, shake it off, check out the good, and join in on that fun that is happening around you!
5. Think of Yourself Less and Others More
Sometimes looking at our own lives can leave us with blind spots. We get caught up with our own illnesses, sadness, frustrations, annoyances, and pains because they directly affect us. By taking a few moments to step outside of our own situations, we can realize that regardless how difficult our lives are we can still assist and be kind to others.
"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another." Charles Dickens
Helping others and thinking about others may not completely solve all of our individual issues, but the happiness factor of assisting others can absolutely rise up our vibrations. Looking at someone else's challenges and difficulties and providing support can help you eliminate the pressure you are putting on yourself to be happy. Sometimes it can be challenging to help others when we feel like we are so needy, but, maybe snapping out of our own gloominess for the benefit of others is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Humility is not about thinking less of yourself or making yourself any less of a priority but it is about actually THINKING less of yourself and more of others.
"I resolved to stop accumulating and begin the infinitely more serious and difficult task of wise distribution." Andrew Carnegie
Try going through your closest and giving away a few items that you perhaps are not using anymore or perhaps volunteer at a senior care facility or school. Join up and help out at a social project in your neighborhood working along side others who have the same philanthropic mind set. Make a plan to find different ways to spend your energy that have less to do with you and more to do with others.
6. Choose to have "Relations" on the "Ship of Life"
Decide that you want to be close to something else besides you!
Outside relationships are perhaps one of the most important things that we can involve ourselves in when it comes to finding overall life satisfaction. The relationships can be with friends, co-workers, family, pets, or lovers. It's not about how many relationships and it truly isn't about the other party.
This is about the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical decision to let someone or something else into your life. This decision is 100% about you here. We all know that friends, lovers, family, pets, and co-workers come and go. Looking for a relationship to complete us isn't a wise decision because that puts so much strain on the partnership that problems are inevitably going to follow. The idea that a relationship is going to be perfect and last forever is also going to lead to disappointment and sadness. Do not look at a relationship as a filler. Look at others as fellow passengers on the trip of life. They may look in other directions to see the view and they might have different pit stops. Their choices should not force us to put a halt on our destinations. We may agree to perhaps go slower as they figure out their paths; but, we have to agree to understand that relationships are just that "Relations" on the "Ship of Life." Enjoy the ride.
Relationships do have difficulties and they do end. It's about realizing that letting people and pets into our hearts is a decision and the results can bring us joy. Letting relationships happen and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable takes a level of strength and faith. By recognizing that every relationship that comes into our lives can give us an opportunity to grow and learn, we can value and accept the gifts and the happiness that come with the lessons their presence brings. There might be hurt and there will be loss at some point in every relationship, but realizing that with every hurt there can also be joy.
Try being open and allowing people in! And definitely don't forget about pets. The joy and love that comes from having a pet can take your happiness levels to places you have never been before!
7. Plan Fun and Spend Money on Experiences Not Things
"A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in." Robert Orben
So much of our time is spent dedicated to work and our families that we also spend most of our time trying to just function on a primary level. Instead of focusing so much energy on trying to take care of day-to-day needs try taking a few minutes to plan having some fun and enjoying life.
Fun doesn't always have to be expensive. Fun can be going to a park and having a picnic. Fun can be making a "Dream Board" with your loved ones and using your imagination tackling projects and setting goals for the future. Fun can be organizing individual projects so that everyone has an opportunity to feel like they have a "Purpose." Fun can be getting in and cleaning up the house and having a huge garage sale.
Having fun doesn't have to be attached to a thing or a place. Getting out and being spontaneous is a fantastic trait; but, actually planning outings can give the event so much more importance. Instead of dreaming and saving money on new shoes try and schedule time to take a trip with your friends, family, or loved ones. Even a quick weekend getaway can do wonders for your happiness quotient.
By planning the trip a few weeks or a few months ahead it also gives everyone an opportunity to look forward to the opportunity. Download apps like Groupon and Living Social and let them send you notifications. You never know what might tickle your fancy.
Happiness is individual and each of us have expectations and desires. Sometimes the outside world and the people in it can fulfill those needs and sometimes it is up to us fill up our own cups. Love and lightness is out there. In times of darkness and sorrow, it might feel like the whole world is a dark and lonely place.
It's ok! Sometimes the world truly is a hard place to live in. But, dealing and coping with sadness and attempting to be happy is a challenge that you can overcome. Happiness can be obtained and there are resources out there and people to support you. You have to make the decision to make a plan of action and take the first steps. Take a few of the tips above and try them out! And make a list of things that make you happy and share those ideas with us!
You have support and you are not alone!
Go out there and Be HAPPY!
Love, Success, & Positive Energy
~Theresa
